Posted by Beth Fordy on January 09, 2013 at 09:30:49 from (144.160.98.31):
In Reply to: Ambition? posted by jhilyer on January 06, 2013 at 15:27:06:
So I am 35, female, I know nothing about tractors or farming, and I happened upon this board while looking for any discussions on losing ambition, drive, desire, etc.
I work for a high tech company and do fairly well for myself, but the job is very stressful and there is a lot of politics and over the past 10 years, the job has just become very negative and nasty. I am not married, never been married, and have no kids. I feel the biological clock ticking, yet at the same time, I am not sure I want to deal with having children anytime soon. I have a boyfriend, but not sure how I feel about him (or if I am just depressed and wouldn't feel happy about anyone).
I struggle to get out of bed and I struggle to care about much of anything anymore. I used to have some drive, but it's all but gone. And it's hard for me not to feel like I've somehow wasted my life. I want a family, but at the same time, it's hard for me to deal with what I have now, I am not sure I will do both well (job and family).
The only thing that seems like a good idea to me on most days is to sleep. I don't have energy anymore. When I go to work, I only come home to sleep. That is the thing on my mind most of the time.
I guess it's nice to know that I am not the only person out there who struggles to find happiness or contentment - and maybe feels a little jaded and hardened by life.
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