An excerpt from A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.
Old Ford, can you identify with any character in the following?
GENTLEMAN #1
At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge,it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the Poor and Destitute, who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, sir.
SCROOGE
Are there no prisons?
GENTLEMAN #1
Plenty of prisons,' said the gentleman, laying down the pen again.
SCROOGE
And the Union workhouses? Are they still in operation?
GENTLEMAN #2
They are. Still, I wish I could say they were not.
SCROOGE
The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, then?
GENTLEMAN #1 & #2
Both very busy, sir.
SCROOGE
Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course. I'm very glad to hear it.
GENTLEMAN #2
Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude, a few of us are endeavouring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink and means of warmth. We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down for?'
SCROOGE
Nothing!
GENTLEMAN #1
You wish to be anonymous?
SCROOGE
I wish to be left alone. Since you ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't afford to make idle people merry. I help to support the establishments I have mentioned -- they cost enough; and those who are badly off must go there.
GENTLEMAN #2
Many can't go there; and many would rather die.
SCROOGE
If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population. Besides -- excuse me -- I don't know that.
GENTLEMAN #1
But you might know it,' observed the gentleman.
SCROOGE
It's not my business. It's enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies me constantly. Good afternoon, gentlemen!
(Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue their point, the gentlemen withdrew. Scrooge returned his labours with an improved opinion of himself, and in a more facetious temper than was usual with him.)
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