Posted by jhilyer on January 06, 2013 at 15:27:06 from (74.81.112.46):
After writing a reply to Cole Younger's post about draft horses, I started thinking about the differences in my life now at 42, and my 'former life' as a younger man in my 20's and 30's.
I just don't seem to have the ambition I did then. Then, I was building a farm, literally building a barn & acquiring equipment. I looked forward to training with my draft horses, I was a rabid reader of Small Farmer's journal, I did tons of stuff with my young family. I was dreaming, but I was turning at least some of those dreams into reality. All while having an 'in town' job. I did that for years.
What happened? At 42, I've been divorced and remarried, lost a job but got another. I still bale hay every summer, don't do as much with the draft horses, my kids are teenagers whom I'm having trouble relating to. But it seems like all I do is work, work work. I don't enjoy life much anymore. I'm tired all the time. Years later, I'm pretty cynical about life. I tend to see the downsides of everything, which prevents me from taking action. I'm still pretty productive at my job, but not so much in my personal life. My new wife, bless her soul, is a wonderful person who deserves a husband with a better attitude.
I'm not asking for advice, and I know these are things everyone deals with. For 2013 I think I'm going to review my current life vs. my past life, and figure out how to be happy again with the realities of today. And definitely be more productive!
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